Bee Story

3 Dec

As we were driving down to Louisiana a couple of weeks ago, we stopped in Western Alabama.  It was somewhere between Tuscaloosa and Meridian, MS.  The boys were hungry, Amelia needed to eat and we all needed to pee.  From the time we decided it was time to stop, we drove many, many miles.  Finally we came upon an exit with a Hardees and a gas station.  We rolled into the parking lot of Hardees.  The first thing I noticed was the old nasty motel across the street.  Will took the boys into the restaurant while I nestled into the front seat to feed my sweet little angel.

 About 20 minutes later, the boys emerged with food in hand.  I helped set up a picnic of sorts on the floor of the Hotyssey.  Chicken nuggets, fries, red Hi-C (what was he thinking????) and kids’ meal toys.  Life was good.  Will started eating his sandwich and informed me they had no ketchup packets.  FYI, I LOVE ketchup.  I no longer put it on steak thanks to Will Owens, but pretty much everything else requires it.  So Will asked them if they had any in the back.  The girl walked to the back and came back empty handed.  Will asked her again for ketchup.  The girl told him it was her twin who helped him. 

Five minutes later, the original twin walks out with 3 tiny cups of ketchup.  Thank you very much.  Keep in mind William and Zachary are fresh out of the car, empty bladders and hungry.  Five minutes can be a very long time during times like this.

Anyway, so Will told me my Hawaiian Chicken Sandwich didn’t have any pineapple.  Ok.  I wasn’t really excited about trying that sandwich or anything.  So it just became a BBQ Chicken Sandwich.  Lovely.

 So Will and the kids are eating.  (I figured I’d eat after we got back on the road since it was Will’s turn to drive.)  Amelia is just enjoying being out of her seat.  That’s when the bees started arriving.  At first it was just a bother.  I swatted one several times away from Will and his food.  Then they started coming in the van.  I thought it was just one or two.

No.  At least 10 bees started attacking us.  I’m serious.

When they started flying near Amelia, that’s when I got mad.  So we closed the doors and I moved the car to the other side of the parking lot.

The bees came back.  It was ridiculous.  Our picnic got cut short and we just wanted to get out of that dang parking lot.  So we got the kids situated in their seats with their lunch, drinks and toys and drove across the street.

We pull up to the BP and Will starts filling up the car with gas.  I should have known better when we saw the bees at the pump.  But I needed a drink and to pee so I went inside the store.  Bees by the door.  I start going through the 3/$10 t-shirt rack (“If you can read this, you’re not the President,” “Saban Nation,” etc.) and the bees started flying around my head.  Fortunately there were no bees in the bathroom.

So I grab some drinks and go up to the cashier, a rather large woman.  Actually, she was huge.  I try to make nice conversation by saying, “Are the bees always this bad around here?”

Cashier: Mmmm, hm.

Me:  Oh.  Yeah, we thought it was just bad across the street.  But I guess they’re here too.

Cashier:  Mmmm, hm.

Me:  Are they, like, stinging bees?

Cashier:  I go outside at the front and they ain’t never bothered me.

Me:  Oh.

Cashier:  Why?  You allergic or something?

Me:  No, I was just wondering.

Cashier:  Hmph.

So the moral of the story is, if you’re driving on I-20 near the AL/MS border and there’s a Hardees, a BP and a nasty old motel, keep driving.

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